Open up my Heart Again

   Lately I have been working with my healer to open up my heart again. Tonight as I was listening to more Peter Murphy, I was remembering one of my great loves. When I was 35 I was engaged to be married to Rex. He was a transgendered man. An old gentle soul. Most of my friends probably didnt meet him. It was a very long time ago. You also wouldnt know that the night after my then favorite Uncle Russ died, Rex carried me to bed, then slept on the couch. He left in the middle of the night. Abandoned me. A year later he committed suicide. I still have never gone to his grave in Northglenn. I should sometime. I feel his spirit once in awhile. Mostly when I hear the old Cure and Murphy love longs. 

      Tonight I came across a file folder full of love poems from other lovers. Oh the poetry we would all write back and forth when we were young. Do people still do that? I hope so. The point of this I guess, is for me to recognize that there is still a woman of passion inside me. She hasn't been in love in a couple of years, but there she is, still wanting to love. I have hopes to dive into that pool again. I forgive my past self. I forgive those that went away. I release and make room for new love. Blessed be.